Depression

Its all to hard to handle,
Why do we have to go through this?
Something we never want to talk about,
Or even think.

It takes over,
Over are minds,
Takes over our souls,
Nothing can stop it.

I haven’t found a way to deal,
Not without a pill,
I cant get into another mess,
Ive made to much progress.

People there for me,
But its never enough,
I just cant take it anymore,
Im losing control.

Maybe Ill get through this again,
Maybe I wont,
I almost didn’t so long ago,
I don’t want to go down that path again.

But its so hard not the think about it,
I dealt with the pain the wrong way,
But the thoughts are always there,
No matter how much I plead for them to go.

Sometimes I think I should listen,
And just give into this little game,
But I have to win,
I have to much to loose.

I would hurt far to many people,
If I go down this road again,
But I cant help but think about it.
What would happen?

Im standing at a road,
With two ways to go,
So confused what to do,
Im falling again.
This time I cant pull myself out,
I need someone to help with this,
But I cant ask,
Im to much afraid.

How can I handle this alone?
Ive done it before,
Why cant I again?
But Im afraid without help I will fail.

Failing is just a part of my life,
I always fail at something,
No matter how hard I try,
Everyone tells me I can do it.

But I never believe it,
I cant prove them wrong,
But I want to so dearly,
How can I?

How can I deal with all of this?
What is there to do?
This is all to confusing,
To hard to handle.

Maybe this is just how my life will be,
Full of sadness,
Maybe a little happiness,
But never enough.

Just maybe I will be pulled out of this,
Forever I hope,
Being this deep in depression,
I don’t think I ever will.